Written by Miguel Antunez Vega, Edited by Nikki Wilks

In this article I will deconstruct how the sitcoms Modern Family and How I Met Your Mother (HIMYM) have crafted different forms of contemporary masculinity, particularly focusing on three characters from each show. HIMYM’s narrative structure made it differ from other sitcoms such as Friends as it takes the year 2030 as the present time. The protagonist, Ted, in forms of flashbacks, tells his children the full story of the journey which took him to meet their mom. At its core through asking how rather than if, HIMYM increases audiences’ commitment to finding out who the mom is. In the show’s pilot Ted meets and says I love you to Robin, whom we are told in the end of the episode is the kids’ aunt and, in a parallel storyline, we meet his best friend Marshall who is proposing to his long-term girlfriend Lily, and Barney who quickly establishes himself as the playboy of the group.

Modern Family, through its title itself, informs how its portrayal of characters is “modern”, using the mockumentary narrative format, often inserting interviews whilst the characters never acknowledge that they are being filmed, breaking away from both the laugh track and allowing audiences to get extremely intimate with the characters’ emotions. There are usually three main story lines happening simultaneously in each episode: Jays and Gloria’s (Jay is the father of two of the other adults in different houses and Gloria is his new wife), Claire and Phil’s (Claire is Jay’s daughter and together with Phil they have three children) and Mitchell and Cameron (Mitchell is Jay’s son and Cameron is his partner). In the series pilot, Jay and Gloria are recently married, Claire and Phil are confronted with their oldest daughter inviting a boy over for the first time and Mitchell and Cameron have just flown back from Vietnam with their newly adopted baby.

Positive masculinity: Marshall and Phil

Marshall and Phill encompass a positive form of masculinity. On paper, Marshall would have a more dominant or traditional form of masculinity as he is coupled for almost the entire show, a dynamic which offsets the single life of Barney and Ted. Further, he is the main economic provider of the house, working as a lawyer (a male dominated profession) and physically is the strongest character (he is large, tall and broad). However, through his nurtured sense of loyalty and his constant emotional expressiveness he challenges traditionality through favouring love and friendship among anything else. His traditional “masculine characteristics” are contrasted by the character’s softness and domestication in an extremely co-dependent relationship. From ordering “feminine drinks” to condoning violence, the character’s traditionality is confronted with the positivity he generates on others, portraying a role model for viewers.

Phil is possibly one of the most positive characters of any popular TV series. He is the caring dad who always tries hard to make sure everyone around him is happy whilst constantly attempting to impress his father in-law Jay. From his dad jokes and magic, to his love for quality time with his family, Phil is always at the disposure of every other character who needs his help.

Traditional masculinity: Ted and Jay

Ted’s journey through HIMYM is clear from the start as, even in the pilot, he is lamenting on how he dislikes being single and desperately wants a monogamous relationship with “The One”, highlighted through his belief in destiny and soulmates and his constant idealisation of women. Ted plays the role of the hero of the romantic comedy. He is aligned with the post-feminist single girl, fearing that his time is running out and dreading being alone. On multiple occasions, he is seen planning his future wedding and in constant anxiety of ending up alone. Unlike Barney, Ted is single not by choice but rather because he fails to maintain a long-term relationship. Despite his emerging post-feminist form of masculinity, and him believing he is a hopeless romantic, it is also poignant how he often exhibits obsessive behaviour (such as not moving on from Robin) and reiteratively contradicts himself stating how he loves being single and “picking-up” girls. Hence, despite having a post-feminist sensibility the character also lives a very traditional single lifestyle and, in his idealisation, conforms to a non-progressive masculinity. 

Jay has a very traditional sense of masculinity, functioning as the patriarch of the family. He is wealthy, married to a Colombian woman half his age and is, at least in the start of the sitcom, distant and “old-fashioned”. Particularly, he displays several homophobic attitudes, even announcing he is entering a room to avoid seeing Mitchell and Cameron kiss. Moreover, he constantly mistreats and emasculates Phil because of his soft and caring behaviour, doing a similar thing with Manny, the son of Gloria whose passion lies in the arts rather than sports. Throughout the series, his attitudes change massively, such as when he proudly walks Mitchell down the aisle to marry Cameron, when he spends a lot of time with Phil, calling him a great father, and finally tears up when Manny leaves for college whilst referring to him as his son and stating how proud he is of him. Therefore, despite maintaining a traditionality, we see real character growth and maturity within Jay’s character.

Toxic Hypermasculinity: Barney

The fan-favourite character of Barney has an extremely toxic form of hypermasculinity through his residual playboy bachelor type of lifestyle. His excessiveness in behaviour and performance made him iconic for audiences. Barney’s extreme insistence in using suits, even when sleeping, his multiple catchphrases, and the playbook he created to pick-up over 200 women in extremely sociopathic ways, are some reasons why he became, for audiences, an extremely complex and compelling display of masculinity. His womanising ways are revealed to have led him towards uncaring and predatory behaviour. His many rules and the strict restrictions he places onto himself act as a way to expose the work that goes into the construction of maintenance of such toxic and outdated masculine identity. Moreover, the star persona of Neil Patrick Harris and the fact that the actor is homosexual exaggerates the parody of Barney’s multiple layers and performative excess which showcases the fragility and overall toxicity of hypermasculinity. This makes it extremely satisfying for viewers when the character finally surpasses his excessive behaviour and matures, eventually finding love and settling down.

Non-conformist masculinity: Cameron

Similar to the character of Barney, Cameron is played by an actor from a different sexuality (a heterosexual actor portrays a very performative excessive gay man). Despite many critiques being made on such casting, as several protesters believe that the limited non-heterosexual roles within the television industry should not go to straight people, the talent of Eric Stonestreet in his portrayal of Cam is also undeniable. His non-conformity comes from the character’s complexity. Despite being the most flamboyant and emotionally “needy” character, Cameron surpasses such limitations. He is simultaneously physically strong and emotionally vulnerable, he teaches music and football, he is a stay-at-home dad, a clown, a drummer and showcases many other talents. Through such complexity, Cameron embodies how masculinity can and should be diverse rather than falling to traditional expectations.

To conclude, what both How I Met Your Mother and Modern Family represent is the importance of diverse forms of masculinity, embracing complexity rather than performative and rigid traditionality. Throughout the different characters’ behaviours, we see them progress and evolve into much more rounded and emotionally developed people, using the comfort of the sitcom to inspire viewers to do so as well.